The SunHerald bring us some interesting points on parenting the Careless Child.
You know the one. The child that leaves everything incomplete, does as little as possible, or completes tasks carelessly. These tasks include chores around the house, school work, sports, classroom work, and even hobbies and games. The SunHerald is located in Gulfport, MS, and has a mailing address in Biloxi MS.
There was no way that I could determine the author of this piece. It presents some valid points, and some points for parents to consider, when attempting to change the behaviors of the Careless Child.
“Cutting corners could be difficult problem to solve”
Perhaps a parent has written into the SunHerald to ask a question. Otherwise, where did this question come from?
“My 11-year-old son cuts corners on everything. If he does a chore, he’ll leave the cleaning products behind.”
“We’re now seeing this in his soccer practices, where he’s started literally cutting corners. How can we get a handle on this bad habit?”
What is not so clear is who has answered the question. Or, is the question asker and the one who has given the answer, one and the same person?
“Because it’s not “blatant,” as in blatant disrespect or disobedience, this sort of problem can be difficult to get a handle on.”
“The fact is that parents cannot solve all of the possible problems a child may develop.”
“Sometimes, a child doesn’t solve a problem until he’s in a state of crisis because of it, and the crisis in question may not occur until he’s well into adulthood.”
“When parents use consequences in the mistaken belief that there is a magic consequence that will solve the problem in question, they miss the point and are possibly setting themselves up to fail.”
So, if a parental action that has been taken turns out to be unsuccessful.. the parent should keep taking that action?
“If, however, the child doesn’t solve the problem, that doesn’t necessarily mean the consequence was not the right one to use. That belief often causes parents to try one consequence after another in a rather chaotic attempt to find the one that will turn the proverbial wheel. Perhaps the consequence in question was insufficient — it didn’t apply enough pressure. On the other hand, it may well be that the consequence was sufficient, but the child wasn’t “ready.””
“Suspend a privilege or package of privileges until he’s solved the “cutting corners when he does chores” problem and has had no relapses for a month.”
Do you agree or disagree with the answer about the Careless Child?
It is true that not all problem behaviors have a magic solution. It is untrue, however, that parents are doomed to failure and therefore should give up.
There is an old saying in various forms that says… The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
Here is another old saying… If nothing changes, nothing changes.
What are your thoughts?
To Your Parenting Success!
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