Careless Child

Careless ChildThe SunHerald bring us some interesting points on parenting the Careless Child.

You know the one. The child that leaves everything incomplete, does as little as possible, or completes tasks carelessly. These tasks include chores around the house, school work, sports, classroom work, and even hobbies and games. The SunHerald is located in Gulfport, MS, and has a mailing address in Biloxi MS.

There was no way that I could determine the author of this piece. It presents some valid points, and some points for parents to consider, when attempting to change the behaviors of the Careless Child.

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Careless Child

“Cutting corners could be difficult problem to solve”

Perhaps a parent has written into the SunHerald to ask a question. Otherwise, where did this question come from?

“My 11-year-old son cuts corners on everything. If he does a chore, he’ll leave the cleaning products behind.”

“We’re now seeing this in his soccer practices, where he’s started literally cutting corners. How can we get a handle on this bad habit?”

What is not so clear is who has answered the question. Or, is the question asker and the one who has given the answer, one and the same person?

“Because it’s not “blatant,” as in blatant disrespect or disobedience, this sort of problem can be difficult to get a handle on.”

“The fact is that parents cannot solve all of the possible problems a child may develop.”

“Sometimes, a child doesn’t solve a problem until he’s in a state of crisis because of it, and the crisis in question may not occur until he’s well into adulthood.”

“When parents use consequences in the mistaken belief that there is a magic consequence that will solve the problem in question, they miss the point and are possibly setting themselves up to fail.”

So, if a parental action that has been taken turns out to be unsuccessful.. the parent should keep taking that action?

“If, however, the child doesn’t solve the problem, that doesn’t necessarily mean the consequence was not the right one to use. That belief often causes parents to try one consequence after another in a rather chaotic attempt to find the one that will turn the proverbial wheel. Perhaps the consequence in question was insufficient — it didn’t apply enough pressure. On the other hand, it may well be that the consequence was sufficient, but the child wasn’t “ready.””

“Suspend a privilege or package of privileges until he’s solved the “cutting corners when he does chores” problem and has had no relapses for a month.”

Read more of the original piece by clicking this link…

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Do you agree or disagree with the answer about the Careless Child?

It is true that not all problem behaviors have a magic solution. It is untrue, however, that parents are doomed to failure and therefore should give up.

There is an old saying in various forms that says… The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

Here is another old saying… If nothing changes, nothing changes.

What are your thoughts?

To Your Parenting Success!

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How to Help Children Resist Impulses

Did you ever wonder How to Help Children Resist Impulses? Have you ever wanted to lend your ability to think to your children?

How to Help Children Resist ImpulsesWell, Karen Spangenberg Postal, Ph.D., A.B.P.P. presents some food for thought on the subject. She writes in Psychology Today, “How Structure Improves Your Child’s Brain.” She helps parents to understand the process by which children learn to self-regulate.

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How to Help Children Resist Impulses

“How Structure Improves Your Child’s Brain”

“What if your teenage daughter asks to borrow your frontal executive network rather than your shoes today? Sounds laughable? You’ve actually been lending it to her since she was a toddler.”

“A neuroscientist would say that the parents are acting as external frontal executive networks, literally lending their child their own brain’s ability to modulate emotions, resist impulses, and plan into the future.”

“Parents naturally lend their children structures that allow them to function in complex situations. There is nothing about this “loan” that gets in the way of their being able to eventually do it on their own.”

“The helicopter parent stands at the door before school and hands their child their library book. The child never learns that they are responsible for remembering the book. A parent who lends their child a helpful structure might post a calendar near the door, where they have …”

>Read more…

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In her article on How to Help Children Resist Impulses, Dr. Karen Spangenberg Postal mentions helicopter parenting.

Here are some links to further information…

More about Helicopter Parents and their Children

Helicopter Parenting Good or Bad

Helicopter Parenting and Depression in College Students

Helicopter Parenting Young Children

To Your Parenting Success!

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More about Helicopter Parents and their Children

Are you ready for More about Helicopter Parents and their ChildrenThis material seems to be an excerpt from an excerpt. I’m not 100% of the chain this material traveled. It is however, credited to Margaret Nelson, Ph.D. author, and educator. It seems to have been originated in 2010; this term has been around awhile. This piece was published in Psychology Today. Margaret Nelson the “Hepburn Professor of Sociology at Middlebury College.” She had completed research on “families in rural areas, single mothers, surveillance, and contemporary parenting practices among the middle class.” She is an individual worthy of our note.

More about Helicopter Parents and their Children

She is the “Hepburn Professor of Sociology at Middlebury College.” She had completed research on “families in rural areas, single mothers, surveillance, and contemporary parenting practices among the middle class.” She is an individual worthy of our note.

Should we be concerned about helicopter parents? Find out.

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More about Helicopter Parents and their Children

“Why do we worry about helicopter parents?”

“Yet another article about the negative impact of so-called helicopter parenting made headlines just two weeks ago; researchers from Keene State College in N.H. reported that college freshmen with helicopter parents (10 percent of the students surveyed) were more dependent, more neurotic, and less open than their peers.”

“This study fuels the contemporary debate about the children of hovering parents. Some of the …”

>Read more… Click this link…

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Is there really an advantage to rehashing this material? There seem to be no limit to More about Helicopter Parents and their Children. Any parenting method used in an extreme fashion has the potential to backfire. Any style of parenting can produce undesired results, when utilized sans observation, contemplation, choice, and action.

So what is a parent to do? Discover the information that is available… Seek help when stumped… Use balance in your family’s life… Keep what works… Change what does not…

To Your Parenting Success!

Do You have an opinion? Please leave your questions, ideas, answers, and comments below, or send an email to… SuccessfulParentingSolutions@gmail.com

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Violent Video Game Study Blocked?

Violent Video Game Study Blocked? Dan Frienman from the Daily News Washington Bureau gives us some details.

Violent Video Game Study Blocked?.

There has been much ado over studies that will help us learn more about our own human nature, and the nature and nurture argument. If nature is prevalent, then why reinforce it?

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Violent Video Game Study Blocked?

“A proposal to study how violent video games may be affecting the minds of youngsters has stalled”

“Sources say it’s the victim of the $67 billion gaming industry, which has increasing clout in Washington”

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“The gun lobby isn’t the only group throwing its weight around trying to thwart President Obama’s plans to combat gun violence.”

“Even a modest proposal to study how violent video games might be affecting young minds has quietly run aground, the victim, sources say, of opposition by the burgeoning video game industry — a $67 billion colossus with increasing clout in Washington.”

““It doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere,” one Senate aide tracking the proposal told the Daily News.”

“The debate over violent video games reemerged …”

>Read more… from the original source piece…

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Violent Video Game Study Blocked?

Violent Video Game Study Blocked?You’re kidding, right? If the study is blocked, halted, or stalled by anyone, then it stands to reason that the faction causing or initiating that action has something to hide.

Ya think??

Violence breeds violence. We humans always feel drawn to it, whether it is violent video games, films, or books. We are fascinated by it. That fact does not mean that we should not take a close look at how the mind of children differ from adults, how they imprint on that which is shown to them, how violent video games effect learning, preferences, choices, and actions. If values have to be taught, why are we teaching that violence is a positive human value?

To Your Parenting Success!

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Daycare and Child Behavior Problems Linked

Daycare and Child Behavior Problems LinkedKJ Dell’Antonia poignantly addresses yet another jab at working mothers, and whether Daycare and Child Behavior Problems Linked together in a negative context. Well, to be more accurate… This research contends that child behavior problems and the use of day care are not linked. You be the judge.

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Daycare and Child Behavior Problems Linked

“Day Care and Behavior Problems, Unlinked”

“Time spent in day care doesn’t link to problems for older children — at least, not when …”

“A team of researchers from Norway, Harvard and Boston College, examining the varied research that sporadically associates an increase in hours in day care with increased behavior problems, noted that the work was all based on child-care studies done in the United States. And the United States, they argue, is a lousy place to study the impact of early child care on children.”

Daycare and Child Behavior Problems Linked“Most parents will remember the headlines from the last round of the “Does day care harm children?” battle here in the United States …”

“All that (and more) from a single, small finding, published in 2007, based on a study of 1,300 U.S. children from 4½ years old through the end of sixth grade.”

“While I’m accustomed to using the words “working parents” here, the debate, of course, centered around mothers. No one questions whether fathers should work. No one questions whether moms “should” work anymore, either — instead, we fall back on questioning whether all those various forms of child care are really “good” for children, the universally recognized code for raising that politically incorrect issue.”

As always, here is the link to the original source…

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Are Daycare and Child Behavior Problems Linked?

Read the following…

“Child Development”

Courtesy of the Wiley Online Library

“Are There Long-Term Effects of Early Child Care?”

(Volume 78, Issue 2, pages 681–701, March/April 2007)

Authors: Jay Belsky, Deborah Lowe Vandell, Margaret Burchinal, K. Alison Clarke-Stewart, Kathleen McCartney, Margaret Tresch Owen, The NICHD Early Child Care Research Network

Article first online publication date: March 23, 2007

DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2007.01021.x

Abstract:“Effects of early child care on children’s functioning from 4½ years through the end of 6th grade (M age=12.0 years) were examined in the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development (n=1,364). The results indicated that although parenting was a stronger and more consistent predictor of children’s development than early child-care experience, higher quality care predicted higher vocabulary scores and more exposure to center care predicted more teacher-reported externalizing problems. Discussion focuses on mechanisms responsible for these effects, the potential collective consequences of small child-care effects, and the importance of the ongoing follow-up at age 15.”

Click this link to go to the original source for this information…

To get PDF of this research click this link…

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How to Stop Tantrums in Toddlers

Information is everywhere. Do you know How to Stop Tantrums in Toddlers? Take this ten point quiz and determine just how much you know about toddler tantrums. This quiz can be found by clicking the link below the excerpt to eNannySource the website.

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How to Stop Tantrums in Toddlers

Pop Quiz: How do you get a toddler to have a tantrum free day?

“1.) You’re in the grocery store when your toddler has a spontaneous temper tantrum over something that seems relatively minor. You’re in a hurry and fairly stressed, after having a difficult behavioral day with your child. Why is he behaving so badly in public?”

A)   To deliberately cause you more stress.
B)   Because he’s irritable and isn’t verbal enough to express the reason he’s upset clearly.
C)   He’s tired or hungry
D)   None of the above
E)    B, C or D

“2.) Your child was a calm and relatively happy infant, but seems to be having at least one temper tantrum a week now that he’s reached toddlerhood. What do you do?”

A)   Contact his pediatrician.
B)   Put strict rules and punishments in place.
C)   Be patient and understand that occasional tantrums are a developmental phase that will pass.

“3.) Your child is visibly tired, but begins to have a tantrum when you try to put him in a stroller or cart. Why is he being so difficult about walking when he’s obviously low on energy?”

A)   He’s trying to assert his independence.
B)   He’s irritable and difficult to please because he’s exhausted.
C)   He’s simply being contrary.
D)   Both A and B

Find the answers and the remaining 7 Q & A by clicking this link…

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This info is just to whet you whistle, so to speak. Your child is different. You may need some fresh eyes to determine the basis for the tantrums. Start with your pediatrician.

But… Watch this video and you may just get some improved insight into the phenomenon of How to Stop Tantrums in Toddlers.

Here is more information that may be helpful with you toddler’s temper tantrums…

When Parenting Children Patience is the Key to Success Story http://parenting101success.com/when-parenting-children-patience-is-the-key-to-success-story/

How to Stop Temper Tantrums in Toddlers
http://parenting101success.com/how-to-stop-temper-tantrums-in-toddlers/

Temper Tantrums and How to Stop Them
http://parenting101success.com/temper-tantrums-and-how-to-stop-them/

Are Temper Tantrums Normal
http://parenting101success.com/are-temper-tantrums-normal/

To Your Parenting Success!

Do You have an opinion? Please leave your questions, ideas, answers, and comments below, or send an email to… support@parenting101success.com

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Toddlers Imitate Parents with Everything

Toddlers Imitate Parents with EverythingGreat idea! Toddlers Imitate Parents with Everything. So why not take advantage of the opportunity to foster cooperation, responsibility, compliance, cleanliness, and fun? The answer is that the best tool a parent has is parenting by example, so use it with everything.

Marcia hall wrote a short piece about just that in the blog, Go Nannies. Take a look. Use your imagination. Be creative.

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Toddlers Imitate Parents with Everything

“4 Reasons to Let Your Toddler Help Around the House”

“You child will naturally want to help you do things around the house.  At times, this insistence can be seen as a nuisance because it is generally easier and quicker to do the job by yourself than to have little, clumsy hands help.  However, there are a lot of reasons we should encourage children to pitch in.”

Here is one great reason to let your toddler help around the house…

“It builds independence”

“Encouraging your child to do things on her own will promote a positive sense of self which will in turn help your child to gain her own independence.  This is a very good thing; even if at times you wish that she did not have so much independence.”

“Among the many jobs parents have, one is to help create a person who will be able to survive on her own.  This movement toward independence starts at a very young age.  As soon as a child is able to understand how to get her body to do what she wants it to she will begin to crawl and walk away from you, feed herself, and play on her own.  This is also a great time to begin teaching her to clean her own things up.  She will need lots of help and encouragement to learn this task, but constantly encouraging her will help it become commonplace for her to do small tasks.”

Discover the other three reason by clicking this link…

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As with everything in a parent’s life, there is a caveat here. Don’t let your toddler get into the dryer, or washer. Keep all Laundry supplies out of reach, and better yet, locked up. You heard about the Tide Pods problem, right? Do your household sweep for child safety in all areas, and always match the activity the the skill and maturity level of your child. Toddlers Imitate Parents with Everything, even the ‘bad’ stuff. So, do the next right thing.

Here are some links to information on the dangers of laundry pods.
Children are Eating Tide Pods Laundry Detergent USA
Detergent Responsible for Calls to Poison Control Hotline
CDC Health Advisory Laundry Pods Danger

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Do You have an opinion? Please leave your questions, ideas, answers, and comments below, or send an email to… SuccessfulParentingSolutions@gmail.com

Do You Agree?

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Discipline Ideas for Children Who Lie

Fabricating lies is a natural part of childhood. However, it does rest heavily on the parents of young children to ‘teach’ the avoidance of lying…

So, to further that end, here are 10 Discipline Ideas for Children Who Lie.

Discipline Ideas for Children Who Lie

Now the original title uses the word ‘punishments.’ Discipline is teaching and training, depending on the age of the child. So as you read through these 10 discipline ideas on how to stop children from lying,  decide what it is that you want to teach your children.

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Discipline Ideas for Children Who Lie

“10 Punishments for Kids Caught in a Lie”

“The entire topic of lying is a complicated one for parents to tackle, as the social necessity of tiny “white lies” makes the subject a murky one for kids to grasp. One thing that all parents agree on, regardless of parenting style, is the need to teach children that blatant dishonesty for personal gain is wrong. For repeat offenders, here are ten ways to teach the consequences of lying.”

  1. “Question Everything – Putting the fable of The Boy Who Cried Wolf into action, one way to impress the importance of honesty on a child is to vocally question other claims. When even their sincere statements are met with skepticism, kids are likely to be more careful in the future to tell the truth.”

  2. Make it Personal – Some kids respond better to …”

Find 10 more discipline (not punishment) ideas for children caught in a lie…

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I realize that it is frustrating and embarrassing when your children are caught lying. However, it is not your future, or present that is in question. These Discipline Ideas for Children Who Lie are meant as a starting point only.

You, as the parent, will ultimately be responsible for making the decisions for all disciplinary actions taken.

Ask yourself these questions…

What do I want my child to learn?

And…

How will I teach that?

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A Child’s Day

This is Jake…
He is hearing how his day will be easier to handle with… A Child’s Day Perspective.

A Child’s Day

In this commercial video, Jake is well aware of his ‘dilly-dallying.’ Is that so in real life. What makes commercials funny is that they imitate real life. What can we learn, besides how to laugh at ourselves, in our daily lives?

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No material connection exists. This webpage has no affiliate relationship and/or another material connection to the 3rd party provider of the goods and/or services identified in this video. Should you decide to purchase from / participate with the provider indicated, there has been no compensation past, present, or future paid to this business. Please perform due diligence (research) before buying any goods/services and/or donating to/participating with any Internet (online) business or offline in a ‘brick & mortar’ business.

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Are Temper Tantrums Normal?

Are Temper Tantrums Normal? Discover more about temper tantrums of children.

I have curated two articles together for your convenience.

“Temper Tantrums Are Not the Norm, Study Says” by Nikki Tucker in Medical Daily online.

                This is the first excerpt below.

AND

“Normal Tot or Problem Child? Tantrum Frequency Holds Clues” by Rachael Rettner in My Health News Daily online is the final excerpt for this post.

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Are Temper Tantrums Normal?

Are Temper Tantrums Normal“Temper Tantrums Are Not the Norm, Study Says”

“Does your child habitually cry, yell and swing his or her arms and legs viciously? Does he or she bite, hit and/or pinch? If yes, your child may be having yet another temper tantrum. Research suggests temper tantrums in infants may signal early mental health problems.”

“Mental health experts at Northwestern University created a questionnaire exclusively designed to determine moderate to severe misbehavior among children. This questionnaire will be able to predict and identify mental health problems as well as assist physicians to provide early treatment. Early treatment is essential to ward off chronic mental health problems in the future.”

Here is your Link to the original source for this article…

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Are Temper Tantrums Normal?

“Normal Tot or Problem Child? Tantrum Frequency Holds Clues”

Are Temper Tantrums Normal

“It’s common for young children to have a temper tantrum from time to time, but daily tantrums are uncommon enough to be a possible sign of worrisome behavior problems, a new study finds.”

“Based on a survey of nearly 1,500 parents, the study found that 84 percent of preschool kids had thrown a tantrum within the past month, but just 8.6 percent had daily tantrums.”

“That finding indicates that, even in young children, daily tantrums are not typical and may suggest deeper problems, said study researcher Lauren Wakschlag of the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine.”

“The finding is part of larger research looking at what exactly distinguishes “normal” tantrums from problematic behaviors that may be early signs of mental health issues.”

The original source Link for ‘Problem Child?’

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To answer the question… Are Temper Tantrums Normal? Read these two articles at the source. There is more to discover with data and the included links.

Are Temper Tantrums Normal

Keep discovering!

To Your Parenting Success!

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