How do you feel today? Are you aware that the Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions? Discipline is teaching and training for various objectives, such as, child safety, or instilling values.
As discipline for children in never punishment, understanding how your emotions affect the parenting decisions you make and the actions you take becomes critical. Frequently, we humans behave at home in ways we would never act in public, at work, in training, or with extended family. This type of relaxing of societal behavior norms creates an atmosphere of… ‘Do as I say, and not as I do.’ Children learn by example far more readily than following verbal directives. Be the person unto which you want your child to develop.
One of my parenting goals was to give my children both roots and wings. Roots are the establishment of safety and love in the family home, and wings are to encourage excitement for learning through middle childhood and adolescence to early adulthood. You get roots with limits, boundaries, and parenting by example. You get wings from loving, listening, and respecting.
In this paper, you will find six tips for understanding how the Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions and outcomes of actions. I have grouped these hints and tips into loose groupings. There is still some overlap in these concepts.
So here we go…
Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions
- Intense Emotions and Reactions
- Never discipline children when you are angry, or because you are angry. This includes frustration, worry, stress, and exhaustion. Learn to manage your stress, which includes teaching these skills to your children to help them learn to self-regulate more intense emotions.
- Do not expect your children to obey when it is most critical for them to behave. Plan ahead. What you might think of as ‘cute’ at the age of 5 will not be so ‘cute,’ when your child is 8. Focusing on teaching or training rather than ‘discipline,’ or ‘punishment’ will help you to set your perspectives on taking actions before a misbehavior, rather than reacting to a misbehavior afterwards. Teaching, training, and parenting by example by explaining and demonstrating how to perform an action, such as ‘chores’
PS: Using the word, ‘chore,’ can detonate arguments. Choose the term that best suits your family. For a household to run smoothly, everyone has to pull their weight, so to speak, as is age appropriate. In other words, one or two people (parents) cannot possibly handle adequately all the tasks needed to keep a household running smoothly. To attempt to do so only increases stress, frustration, anger, and exhaustion. A good offense is immensely more effective than the best defensive strategies (sports analogy).
- The Innate Desire to Please
- Young children naturally want to please parents, use this to your advantage. This is strategy. They do not have any skills to do that, so they watch and imitate, or your could plan, teach, and train. Focus on parenting by example. You are your kids first and foremost role model. As parents, act the way you want your children to act. Show them how a good person behaves; your kids will follow, and you will be setting a foundation of cooperation. This decreases the need for teaching and training, and explaining and describing.
- Peace and Harmony
- Steady at the helm Levelheadedness, calm, and patience aid you in remaining consistent.
- Routine and Consistency
- Keep your word. This is all part of ‘steady’ wins the race, as in the tortoise and the hare story. If you use a system of rules, consequences, rewards and privileges continue that pattern. Avoid succumbing to the pleadings of the kids. It is your child’s developmental task to plead for his ‘wants’ and ‘desires.’ You can avoid emotional reactions and decisions on your part by using the system you have set in place. If you do not have a system, maybe you should create one. If you have planned in advance of misbehavior, you will be less likely to over react form stress or pressure. Then inconsistency becomes a non–issue. Clearly defined limits and boundaries are a substantial foundation for your child’s development. These will support you in focusing of the behavior and not your immediate mood. Follow through on what you teach them. Don’t threaten a consequence on which you will not follow through.
- Patience is a Virtue
- Your patience will be tested. Mastering patience, as part of your personal plan for minimizing stress and being reactive, is one of the most important parenting skills you can master. Patience will be a basis for your achieving the parenting goals you have set for your family. With patience, you will enjoy even teaching your children the skills that they will require to be successful adults in life. You will also be more effective in achieving your goals.
As I always say, life is full of challenges. How the Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions is going to be up to you. Are you stepping up to hit a home-run in parenting? It is the most important challenge you will ever face. Please do not minimize your value as a parent. You are raising the next generation. There have been times that we parents have all experienced the frustrating behaviors of our children. Do not let this frustration cause you to lose sight of your personal goals for your family. As parents, we forget most of what we know is effective during the instance a child misbehaves. Create your own plan to make effective Discipline Decisions.
One of my parenting goals was to give my children both roots and wings. You get roots with limits, boundaries, and parenting by example. You get wings from listening and respecting.
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