Parenting with Family Discipline

Fly as smoothly as a butterfly hose life’s many parenting dilemma. Parenting with Family Discipline will lead to smoother days and nights… Less parenting stress… More cooperation, and Your Successful Parenting Solutions based on your family values. It really does take a village, a family village, to raise children well. Have some Fun with Imagination! This video musically introduces the concept of discipline through the whole family, as a family process.

Parenting with Family Discipline

In these pictures are some of my family and the family of friends. Learn to fly… Light each other’s path with Cooperation, Peace, and Happiness. Having Fun is okay, you know…

Learn More… Search this website for the information you need…

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Children Bullying Older Adults

Discipline Young Children Bullying Older Adults is essential because… otherwise the U.S. will be filled with a decade or more of adult bullies. This behavior cannot be outgrown; it will take action by parents, the community, and the larger society. Mary Jo Rapini has written a piece on this subject and has been interviewed on the KRIV FOX 26 station out of Houston, Texas. She gives three suggestions that may be helpful. You will find the video below. And you can read an excerpt from Ms. Rapini’s text in my next post.

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Young Children Bullying Older Adults

 “Parents please discipline your kids so we don’t have to”

Courtesy of Houston weather, traffic, news | FOX 26 | MyFoxHouston

This is your source Link

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She gives three suggestions that may be helpful. Parents please step up; this is not funny. There are battered wives, and abused husbands that deal with the results of indifference, neglect, and the children of mean spirited parents teaching this behavior. This is not genetic; it is taught.

Get help, counseling, and parenting classes to learn how to Discipline Young Children Bullying Older Adults is Essential Because it is the right thing to do, and because it is the responsibility of parents.

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Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions

Introduction

How do you feel today? Are you aware that the Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions? Discipline is teaching and training for various objectives, such as, child safety, or instilling values.

Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions

As discipline for children in never punishment, understanding how your emotions affect the parenting decisions you make and the actions you take becomes critical. Frequently, we humans behave at home in ways we would never act in public, at work, in training, or with extended family. This type of relaxing of societal behavior norms creates an atmosphere of… ‘Do as I say, and not as I do.’ Children learn by example far more readily than following verbal directives. Be the person unto which you want your child to develop.

Preface

One of my parenting goals was to give my children both roots and wings. Roots are the establishment of safety and love in the family home, and wings are to encourage excitement for learning through middle childhood and adolescence to early adulthood. You get roots with limits, boundaries, and parenting by example. You get wings from loving, listening, and respecting.

In this paper, you will find six tips for understanding how the Emotions of Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline DecisionsParents Affect Discipline Decisions and outcomes of actions. I have grouped these hints and tips into loose groupings. There is still some overlap in these concepts.

So here we go…

Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions

  • Intense Emotions and Reactions
    • Never discipline children when you are angry, or because you are angry. This includes frustration, worry, stress, and exhaustion. Learn to manage your stress, which includes teaching these skills to your children to help them learn to self-regulate more intense emotions.
  • Expectations
    • Do not expect your children to obey when it is most critical for them to behave. Plan ahead. What you might think of as ‘cute’ at the age of 5 will not be so ‘cute,’ when your child is 8. Focusing on teaching or training rather than ‘discipline,’ or ‘punishment’ will help you to set your perspectives on taking actions before a misbehavior, rather than reacting to a misbehavior afterwards. Teaching, training, and parenting by example by explaining and demonstrating how to perform an action, such as ‘chores’

PS: Using the word, ‘chore,’ can detonate arguments. Choose the term that best suits your family. For a household to run smoothly, everyone has to pull their weight, so to speak, as is age appropriate. In other words, one or two people (parents) cannot possibly handle adequately all the tasks needed to keep a household running smoothly. To attempt to do so only increases stress, frustration, anger, and exhaustion. A good offense is immensely more effective than the best defensive strategies (sports analogy).Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions

  • The Innate Desire to Please
    • Young children naturally want to please parents, use this to your advantage. This is strategy. They do not have any skills to do that, so they watch and imitate, or your could plan, teach, and train. Focus on parenting by example. You are your kids first and foremost role model. As parents, act the way you want your children to act. Show them how a good person behaves; your kids will follow, and you will be setting a foundation of cooperation. This decreases the need for teaching and training, and explaining and describing.
  • Peace and Harmony
    • Steady at the helm Levelheadedness, calm, and patience aid you in remaining consistent.
  • Routine and Consistency
    • Keep your word. This is all part of ‘steady’ wins the race, as in the tortoise and the hare story. If you use a system of rules, consequences, rewards and privileges continue that pattern. Avoid succumbing to the pleadings of the kids. It is your child’s developmental task to plead for his ‘wants’ and ‘desires.’ You can avoid emotional reactions and decisions on your part by using the system you have set in place. If you do not have a system, maybe you should create one. If you have planned in advance of misbehavior, you will be less likely to over react form stress or pressure. Then inconsistency becomes a non–issue. Clearly defined limits and boundaries are a substantial foundation for your child’s development. These will support you in focusing of the behavior and not your immediate mood. Follow through on what you teach them. Don’t threaten a consequence on which you will not follow through.
  • Patience is a Virtue
    • Your patience will be tested. Mastering patience, as part of your personal plan for minimizing stress and being reactive, is one of the most important parenting skills you can master. Patience will be a basis for your achieving the parenting goals you have set for your family. With patience, you will enjoy even teaching your children the skills that they will require to be successful adults in life. You will also be more effective in achieving your goals.

Conclusion

Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline DecisionsAs I always say, life is full of challenges. How the Emotions of Parents Affect Discipline Decisions is going to be up to you. Are you stepping up to hit a home-run in parenting? It is the most important challenge you will ever face. Please do not minimize your value as a parent. You are raising the next generation. There have been times that we parents have all experienced the frustrating behaviors of our children. Do not let this frustration cause you to lose sight of your personal goals for your family. As parents, we forget most of what we know is effective during the instance a child misbehaves. Create your own plan to make effective Discipline Decisions.

Epilogue

One of my parenting goals was to give my children both roots and wings. You get roots with limits, boundaries, and parenting by example. You get wings from listening and respecting.

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Two Parenting Strategies

There are Two Parenting Strategies newly posted on this website. I have included a brief excerpt from each below and also a Link. Keep exploring your options, and keep reading.

Two Parenting Strategies…

include the topics ‘Parenting Coach,’ and ‘Discipline Ideas.’ These are intended to help you become your own Parenting Coach.

New Parenting Article Pages

“It’s true; “You Can be Your Own Parenting Coach.” A parenting coach is someone who is your personal ‘cheerleader.’ This coach can take your parenting goals, your children’s unwanted behaviors and help you develop or improve your parenting skills. In addition, help you create your parenting goals. If you are having some difficulty eliminating or reducing some unwanted behaviors, getting the assistance of a parenting coach could indeed be helpful. However, you may want to try out being your own parenting coach first. If that is the route you want to take, then here are some pointers that can help you get started so…”

“You Can be Your Own Parenting Coach

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New Parenting Article PagesIf you are a parent and are interested in  improvement, here are “Effective Discipline for Children: 8 Tips, Tricks and Techniques.” Discipline is important regardless of the age of the child. It is a major part of how we teach our children behavioral lessons. We are teaching our children skills and values that they need to function in their lives.

Click the link below to find out more about the Amazon Kindle Book, “Effective Discipline for Children: 8 Tips, Tricks and Techniques.”

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In these Two Parenting Strategies, you will find a continuing theme. That is, you can achieve your family and parenting goals. It your decision, and your responsibility to  discovery what will work for your family, acting in an responsible adult manner.

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Find the Right Nanny

The Huffington Post has another good one. Mary L. Pulido, Ph.D. who is the Executive Director of The New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children reports on 7 tips to help the fortunate parents Find the Right Nanny for Parenting Young Children 4-9.

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Find the Right Nanny for Parenting Young Children 4-9

Find the Right Nanny for Parenting Young Children 4-9

“The Anxiety of Hiring a Nanny: Tips for the Screening Process”

“Hiring a nanny is a process usually fraught with anxiety. Ideally, you want someone who shares your ideas on child rearing — everything from feeding times, play dates, naps and discipline. It’s a big decision. As a child protection expert, I’m often asked about the screening process for a nanny. Here are my suggestions: …”

“4. Ask Open Ended Questions.”

“What are some of your favorite activities to do with infants/toddlers? What do you do when a child has a temper tantrum? What type of discipline techniques …”

The Link to the original source>>

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It is not every parent or even every family that has the luxury of hiring a nanny. However, how to Find the Right Nanny for Parenting Young Children 4-9 is disheartening and scary, if not frustrating and seemingly endless. These tips are a wonderful start to setting in motion the process by parents can make fundamentally realistic decisions about hiring a nanny.

Use the search function of website to find more about nanny.
Here is one Link… http://parenting101success.com/your-discipline-philosophy-for-young-children/

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Parenting Discipline Methods

In the Mirror Lifestyle of the online webpage, I found an article by Coleen Nolan. This website is an online version of ‘The Daily Mirror,’ a tabloid newspaper. “The Daily Mirror is published by MGN Ltd, part of Trinity Mirror plc, the UK’s largest newspaper publisher.” Ms. Nolan has a write in column in which she addresses the stories and comments of her readers. These publications are from London, but they are a relevant discussion of Family Discipline versus Parenting Discipline Methods.

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Family Discipline versus Parenting Discipline Methods

Family Discipline versus Parenting Discipline Methods

“My toddler is barely out of nappies but my in-laws think he should be more grown up”
“Dear Coleen,”    “I have a two-year-old son who is very similar to all his little friends.”
“In other words, he’s a normal toddler.”
“Whenever we go to my in-laws, however, they expect him to quietly sit at the table and have lunch, which often goes on for more than an hour.”
“At home, he eats lunch at midday and is finished in 20 minutes.”
“But at their house, they serve lunch at 2pm by which point he’s hungry and tired …”
“They’re always making comments about how I need to discipline him more …”
“Coleen says..”    “You’re right. Your in-laws sound as if they’re from the generation ¬that thinks children should be seen, not heard.”
“… he’s your son and you should do what you think is best.”
“To expect them to eat late isn’t …”
“Like you, I found it hard not to feel judged.”
“Maybe invite them to your house so your boy can play around as you all talk to each other.”

Here is your source Link…

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Coleen is a columnist and has to play to her readers. I would say that she might be jumping ahead too swiftly, as she may not have the full story on Family Discipline versus Parenting Discipline Methods. I heartily agree with Coleen on each set of parents making the decisions as to how their child will be raised and disciplined (which is actually teaching and training, not punishment, or control). It is so very hard to get a toddler on a schedule that works well for the whole family, it is unreasonable for anyone to expect that to be altered or modified in a temporary arrangement, or on a more permanent basis. Toddlers can become ‘out of sorts’ for long periods of time with such a disruption in schedule. It seems radically unfair to the toddler. Well, it doesn’t matter what Mom ‘feels like,’ but it does matter that she make the best possible decision for her child. All parenting decisions are better based on the best interests of the child. Learning how to deal with in–laws is another matter all together.

Attempting to acceptance or at least a middle ground within the family is a commendable goal.

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How Do You Discipline Children?

How Do You Discipline Children? I caught this video on You Tube that asks a very similar question. It was recorded on 6/14/12 and Captured Live on Ustream at http://www.ustream.tv/ channel/jhms.

This is the John Hannah Morning Show – Inspiration 1390 AM Radio at …
WGRB-AM 1390
233 North Michigan Ave, Suite 2700
Chicago, Illinois

It asks the listener a question… Can you answer it?

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How Do You Discipline Children?

“Do you discipline your children the way you were disciplined”

This is the website for this AM radio show…    (http://www.inspiration1390.com/pages/JohnHannahMorningShow.html)

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How Do You Discipline Children? Do you still use the same methods that your parents used? A better question is… Do your parenting methods work? I am not referring to… Are your children obedient? Are your children ‘well-adjusted’ and on their way to a fulfilled and ‘well-adjusted’ adulthood? You may not really have that answer for some years yet, but these are good questions to ask yourself.

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John F. Hannah is the Senior Pastor at the New Life Covenant Church at 5517 S. Michigan, Chicago, Illinois. The church’s stated mission and vision are as follow.

“Our Mission… New Life Covenant Church is a life changing ministry that reflects the Glory of God through Worship, Outreach, Discipleship and Servanthood.”

“Our Vision… To be a multi-cultural, family-oriented and cutting-edge ministry known by its dynamic worship, excellence in management and operations, Christlike character of its members and life changing compassion for people of all backgrounds.”

This is the website address for Pastor’s brief biography.     (http://www.newlifeoakwood.org/bio)

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How to Discipline Kids Effectively Quickly

The Times-News online webpage presents a piece by John Rosemond, Family Columnist elaborating on How to Discipline Kids Effectively Quickly. I found it under ‘discipline kids.’ He is justifying his stand on using daylong ostracizing sessions for toddlers in their own room without any entertainment.How to Discipline Kids Effectively Quickly

So be it. Read; think; research; decide. Your Link to the original post is below the excerpt.

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How to Discipline Kids Effectively QuicklyHow to Discipline Kids Effectively Quickly

“Flyswatters won’t work against charging elephants”

“I occasionally receive complaints from fellow mental health professionals that my approach to discipline is excessively punitive.”

“The most recent accused me of actually recommending that 3-year-olds spend as much as a full day in their …”

“To set the record straight, I have no problem assigning a 3-year-old to his room for more than one day; up to several days, in fact. During this internment, said child is allowed to join the family for meals and outings, go to preschool or school, and accompany parents on errands when he cannot be left home.”

“Otherwise, he’s in his room, which has been stripped of “entertainment value.” To relieve his boredom, his parents put him to bed immediately after the evening meal. At bedtime, they read him a story, talk a while, and tuck him in lovingly.”

“One can be reasonably certain that the room in question is heated in the winter and cooled in the summer; that it is vermin-free, contains a comfortable, clean bed, and has windows that look out on the world. I submit that the child so restricted is still living better than most of the world’s children.”

“I don’t recommend such a consequence often, but only when a young child needs, for whatever reason, a huge wake-up call — the child hits or kicks a parent, for example. The unfortunate fact is that unless a consequence instills a permanent memory, one that screams “You don’t want to go there again!” when the child is about to misbehave in a similar manner, the punishment has been for naught.”

Your source Link

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Learning How to Discipline Kids Effectively Quickly requires thinking. Not everyone (including me) is going to agree with Mr. John Rosemond, Family Columnist, yet without discussion, there can be no steps forward, no change, no improvement. Consider parenting as a continual quality improvement movement. I like the title thought.

This piece by Mr. Rosemond appears to be directed toward the discipline of toddlers rather than older children.

Sometimes my excerpt is longer as is this one. Longer excerpts help parents reading this webpage to decide if going to the original source is worth their while.

I agree with Mr. Rosemond that unless a disciplinary technique (not punishment – I never recommend punishment) is strong enough and balanced enough to outweigh the action or misbehavior, the behavior will not change. That said, I cannot see past the example of a 3 year old. The attention span of toddlers and preschoolers 4 and under is so short, how are they ever to connect the ‘solitary confinement,’ no matter how loving, with the action or misbehavior?

Whatever this piece is worth to you, use the information to review your own parenting practices with your children, especially toddlers.

What are your views? How do you discipline kids?

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I have placed some Links to information that make help you to decide about the discipline for your children. The first 3 are directed to free webpages. There is much more information on this website to help you become more efficient and effective in the discipline of your kids, just enter the word ‘discipline’ into the search area under the top banner.

Most Effective Discipline for Toddlers                    http://parenting101success.com/most-effective-discipline-for-toddlers/

Proper Discipline for Toddlers and Preschoolers Video                    http://parenting101success.com/proper-discipline-for-toddlers-and-preschoolers-video/

Effective Discipline for School Aged Children                    http://parenting101success.com/effective-discipline-for-school-aged-children/

6 Tips for Parenting Young Children       [Amazon $2.99]       http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005TA8CYM

How to Discipline Your Toddler       [Amazon $2.99]                 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005TKS3NC

Effective Discipline for Children Book: Rules that Work!       [Amazon $2.99]       http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007M0M8S8

As always,

To Your Parenting Success!

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Proper Discipline for Toddlers and Preschoolers

OMG! Proper Discipline for Toddlers and Preschoolers Video of what not to do. I hope this can only happen in the UK. Check out the story of parents intentionally putting their toddler into a washer at a Laundromat. The video went viral and is below with the Link, of course. Not much more to say about this. It is all too surreal. As is usual, the video embed code (Courtesy of IBTimes TV online) comes with an advertisement upfront. Sorry! Sally Turner narrates and there is text included.

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Proper Discipline for Toddlers and Preschoolers Video

“Video of Parents Locking Child in Washing Machine Goes Viral”

“A shocking video has been uploaded on YouTube for public view, footage of two parents putting their toddler in a washing machine …”

“… and many questioning the line of discipline and punishment. The video shows what appears to be the baby’s father placing the toddler in the machine, …”

“In 2011 a report from the Consumer Products Safety Commission stated that between 2005-2009 two children under the age of 5 died in a washing machine.”

Here’s your source Link

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Did you watch the Proper Discipline for Toddlers and Preschoolers Video?

If I’m reading the text correctly, there was a death by washer in Utah! So, apparently this happens in the States as well. I say again, OMG!

Do I have to say this? Do not use a washing machine as discipline! This is not discipline; it is physical, emotional, and psychological torture!

Discipline is not punishment. It is a method of teaching. Go to “How to Discipline Your Toddler” to discover some solid information on discipline for toddlers.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005TKS3NC

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(See: “Material Connection Disclosure”)
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Effective Discipline for School Aged Children

Effective Discipline for School Aged Children

Our neighbors to the north have revived an idea for Effective Discipline for School Aged Children. Jeff Maguire, a Canadian journalist, wrote a piece in the ‘Perth – EMC’ (online) relating to school uniforms as a part of this effective discipline.

I searched around 3 relevant pages on this website, but was unable to locate a description for the website or its physical address. The information in this piece remains valuable for consideration. Our neighbors to the north are our closest mirror image of cultural relevance. This piece is therefore worth the time for comparison.

Read, Think, Enjoy…

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Effective Discipline for School Aged Children

Effective Discipline for School Aged Children

“Uniforms one step in returning discipline to schools”

“… effort to help bring some discipline into a system which appears to be sadly lacking in that department.”

“I first became hooked on this notion after visiting Great Britain in the mid-1990s and having occasion to see school children there in uniform.”

“Education is a provincial responsibility in Canada so circumstances vary from one jurisdiction to the next.“

“I fully realize that the old adage “a uniform doesn’t make the man/woman,” is probably true. But it sure helps! Picture military personnel on parade, the changing of the guard on Parliament Hill in Ottawa for example.”

“True, school uniforms aren’t that impressive. Still, I believe they set a certain standard that can’t possibly be ignored.”

“As a journalist and also as someone who is involved with a volunteer committee that organizes international student exchanges, I have opportunities throughout the year to visit local schools and see things up close. There are some noticeable contrasts at the two secondary schools, something I have also heard from colleagues.”

Your source Link

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This piece relates that the provinces in Canada differ in responses to and action towards school age children. This is not so different than it is here in the States (US). So the responsibility for education and the discipline for kids is in the individual hands of each State.

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