Well, today is tomorrow… Get ready! Here are the basics of…
Method #1, Teach and Practice Communication Skills.
This is the second part of the series…
Parenting Preparation for Dealing with an Angry Child Behavior Issues
You are probably already aware of the importance of having more than adequate communication skillfulness to lay the foundation to Teach and Practice Communication Skills.
Visual and Auditory Media: We humans are talking in one way or another all the time. We hear and often learn from visual media, such as TV, the Internet, or a smart phone or ipad. Our children are usually versed in the technology of media, especially the smart phone. Yet there are some areas in which children struggle to communicate effectively. Young children and early grammar school children are especially susceptible. Looking ahead, teens, and young adults continue to struggle with effective communication skills, if not learned at an earlier age.
It is paramount to allow children to release some angry energetic feelings appropriately. Communication, as is language, is learned through observation and mimicry. Later, both can be expanded through educational methods that are more formal. They will not know how to express intense energetic emotions and thoughts without taking the time to teach them how to use words to communicate their feelings.
Socially Acceptable Words: Teaching them which words and phrases are socially acceptable for school, public, and the home will be beneficial. Teach one pattern of acceptability for language and communication skills. If you respond to profanity with humor at the age of 7, I pretty much can guarantee that it will not be quite so funny when these words are directed at you in public at the age of 12.
When you are allowing your child to express feelings verbally, create an environment and atmosphere in which everyone is out of harm’s way. Teach everyone to adhere to this environment, atmosphere, and attitude. This means no hitting, no throwing, no yelling, no name-calling, profanity, or none of the acting out behaviors your children use when inappropriately expressing anger. This means you, too. The phrase ‘do as I say and not as I do’ is all too confusing for teaching or expecting your children to recreate. There is much too much left to their imagination and discretion.
Active Listening Skills: Use active listening skill, which include eye contact, voice tone, and body language. Nod your head to acknowledge what your children are saying, not acceptance of their actions or decisions. Mirroring mannerisms (with discretion) and body position also expresses intentional listening.
Ask open questions, that is, those questions that cannot be readily answered by ‘yes,’ or ‘no.’ Listen attentively, while they explain what is troubling them. Asking questions is an effective way to teach verbal expression. Throughout this conversation, patiently give some directions on words to use to express adequately thoughts and feelings. For example, you might say, “So, you got real angry with Johnny when he put your doll in the toilet?” Your child might say in return, “Yeah…” or “Duh!” It does not matter. You now have a response. Your child is communicating, and you are hearing. Of course, after the ‘Yeah,’ it is your turn.
Additionally, your child now believes that you care about his/her troubles.
All this effort is much more important than a perfectly scoured broiler pan, or swept driveway.
Along with effective communication, children benefit from learn how to self-soothe, to personally manage their own intense emotions. This of course is for another paper.
Once you have finished with this paper, and you haven’t already read the first paper in this series,
Parenting Preparation for Dealing with an Angry Child Behavior Issues, the Introduction (Just Click the Link!) you can find it at… http://parenting101success.com/parenting-preparation-for-dealing-with-an-angry-child-behavior-issues/
This Link is to another paper on “Parenting Solutions – Communicating with our Children,” just Click this Link.
The next paper in this series, is…
Method #2: Teach and Practice Anger Management Methods.
Keep a lookout for this next piece.
To Your Parenting Success!
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